My father, The Racist

You know, can I just ask why in hell you would move to a multicultural city like Toronto if you are a racist? Or why move to Canada at all, for that matter? Why continue living in a city that is increasing multicultural? Why not move? Why complain at all, actually? Every country is becoming more multicultural as the years go on. You may as well get used to it. Or better yet, embrace it and look at its positive aspects instead of focusing on the negatives.

I have been experiencing so much racism lately, and it is really starting to get to me. I have had the same argument with my father every few months the entire time we have been living in this apartment. Every few months, he will make a remark about why Toronto or why this apartment has gone downhill. He is under the impression that people who move here from Third World countries are used to living in, and I quote, "mud huts," and have no concept of cleanliness, etiquette or manners. He says they are all ignorant and do not take the time to educate themselves on how to live here. Fine, some people who move here are ignorant. Is it just people from Third World countries? Of course not. I have met more ignorant people who have been living here all their lives than I have ignorant people who have just moved here. I admit, this building has gone downhill. It used to be a pretty upscale building, and this area was never a bad one back in the day. It is still extremely expensive to live here (we pay $1200/month), but now this area has gone sour and there is a lot of crime in the surrounding areas that has found its way here. I want to move, but I am not blaming any single race for what has gone down.

He blames "the blacks in this building" for everything. Every time there is a problem, he blames black people. He says the reason this building has gone downhill is because the owners keep letting in "low lifes." These "low lifes" are only black people or other people from Third World countries. Automatically, the people who leave garbage on the floor instead of putting it down the chute are black. If we see a cockroach (we had a problem years ago but not now, thankfully), that must mean black people have moved in next door. If we get a notice that there have been a lot of maintenance calls lately, it must be all the black people clogging their sinks and having floods. If we get a notice to stop something or warning tenants about an issue, it must have been triggerd by black people. He is so fucking ridiculous. He knows damn well that there is a disgusting white man in this building who smokes crack all day and wastes away in his apartment who says hello to us all the time. He is dirty, he always smells, and he is a pervert. And yet, his only focus is on black low lifes. He is honestly under the impression that every single person from a Third World country who moves here is ignorant and will cause an increase in things like mess or crime. Funny, because this city is very dependent on immigrants to keep the economy alive and well. If it were not for immigrants, our economy would not be nearly as great as it is. But instead of looking at immigration as an opportunity to expose himself to other cultures, embrace new ideas coming from different minds or anything like that, he groups them all together as ignorant people who are bringing down this city. And after all this, he claims, "I'm not racist. I can't change the facts. There's a right way, and there's a wrong way." Black and white. That is how he sees things.

I know that our immigration laws should be more strict. I know that we let people in that we should not. (The terrorist attmpts a few months ago prove this.) I am pretty sure every country is guilty of this. Sometimes it is just a matter of poor judgment, sometimes it is just a matter of not being thorough enough, sometimes it is just a matter of our hearts being too big. But you know what? You cannot possibly expect to live the rest of your life being a racist, especially in this city. One bad apple should not ruin the bushel. I realize that some people are bound to make assumptions about a certain race or culture after several experiences, but even then you must treat every new person as just that: a new person. You cannot allow what you see in the news to affect how you see that entire race. You cannot allow a silly incident you witness in your apartment lead to you assuming that whole race is "dirty."

I was in the laundry mat talking to this woman I usually bump into on Friday nights (yes, I do my laundry on Friday night). Until recently, she seemed like a sweet woman. She is Filipino and moved to Toronto about four years ago. She has a great education, she is a registered nurse, and I know she is really involved in advocating kids to stay in school. She has some good values. So anyway, I was complaining to her about our neighbours who let their kids run up and down the halls screaming and turning door handles almost every day, and sometimes until 1a.m. Even her older teenager sits out in the hall with her boyfriend until this time, and I have even seen them sleeping out there. What the hell? Anyway, after I tell her this she leans over and whispers, "Are they blacks?" I can barely answer her because I am just so shocked by the racist nature of the comment. So for the next fifteen minutes, I have to listen to her go on about "the blacks in this building" and how much trouble they are causing. I told her that there are several troublesome people in this building and that they are all different races. This does not seem to phase her because she continues on with her comments. I felt almost betrayed after having this conversation with her because I really liked her. Why does someone with such a great education think like that? It is safe to say intelligence has nothing to do with ignorance.

I am just really tired of having these battles with people. With my father, it is non-stop. Blacks are to blame for everything, not just in this building. Crime, gangs, riots, etc. As if no other races have contributed to any of these things, whites included. I suppose this is a racist question in itself, but have you ever seen a black pedophile? I am not saying there are no black pedophiles, but this is exactly why you cannot stereotype a race. Even if the majority of crime is committed by a certain race, you have to stop to ask yourself why. It this because the media only pay attention to black crimes? Is this because the media only concentrate on black gangs and not Asian gangs or Spanish gangs? People need to ask themselves these questions. Do not get me wrong though--I, too, as a white person experience racism. Racism is coming from both ends of the spectrum, in all countries, within all cultures, by both genders, by all ages.

Making a statement like "I just wish it would all stop" is futile. But, at the very least, I wish it would at least stop at home and within my family. My entire family is racist, to be honest. I am ashamed to admit this but they are. My father and my uncle are the worst though. People honestly need to wake the hell up. If you identify a certain race as being soley responsible for anything, you are a racist. I cannot believe my father can sit there and claim he is not racist. He says he is just stating the facts, that he cannot change reality. If you call 'Muslims' terrorists instead of 'extremists,' you are racist. That is just the bottom line. As far as I am concerned, my father should move out of this country, or certainly out of this city and into the boonies. Personally, I do not want someone so unaccepting of other cultures living in this country. Is that ignorant? Should I accept that some people have different values than me, even in cases like this where I know they are wrong? Who knows. All I know is that it makes me angry to keep having these arguments with him, hearing just how close-minded he is and being assured each time that he is never, ever going to change. It scares me because I know he is not the only one. I think what hurts most with him, though, is that my acceptance or open mind will never be admirable or respectable to him. He sees my advocating and activism (with things like homosexuality too) as stupid. He just sees me as a blind idiot who does not know any better or who does not have enough life experience to see 'reality.'