So, he did it. My father finally assaulted me. He came lunging at me, grabbing me tightly by the wrists. I dropped the glass I was holding and tried to run away, he chased me, he grabbed my wrists again and grabbed my shirt collar, choking me, slammed me up against a wall and would not let me go. I was screaming at the top of my lungs while he yelled, "You wanna fight me?! You wanna fight me?!" I kept screaming and smacking him, trying to get out of his grip. I think the reason he did not cover my mouth while I was screaming was because he was thrilled at the idea of doing this to me, satisfied with his 'power.' This lasted for quite a few minutes, and when he finally let go he said disgusted, "You stupid bitch." I ran to my room and locked the door, and then just lost it. I cannot even see straight typing this entry. The whole time it was happening I just kept saying to myself, 'Wake up, wake up, wake up.' I honestly thought it was a horrible, vivid nightmare. I cannot believe this has happened. I want to call the police. I told my aunt and she did not even come over. She just said he was a stupid asshole with anger issues. And then she told me, out of nowhere, that he used to beat up my other aunt. This is completely new information to me, and I cannot believe they waited twenty-two years to tell me this and just let me live with him in fear that one day this would happen. I told everyone. I kept telling them he would hit me some day and now he has. I told them. People said it was not in him and I knew it was from the beginning. He will hit another woman too. He honestly thought I deserved it. I was not even yelling or doing anything to provoke him. All I was doing was telling him to stop screaming at me because we were in a disagreement (about bus tickets, that is honestly what this was over). He kept telling me to stop telling him how to talk in his own house, I just kept my voice at a normal and told him to calm down and that I did not understand why he was screaming. Then he slammed his fists down on the table, got up from his chair and came lunging at me. It is all just a blur now. I cannot even remember the other things he was yelling. I just remember his grip around me and chasing me, throwing me up against the door and not letting me go while I was screaming at the top of my lungs and crying. I ran when he first lunged at me but then he actually chased me to the nearest wall. I remember yelling, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" but that is about it. I cannot believe neighbours did not knock on the door. I was screaming so loud.
I cannot deal with this. I have no idea what to do right now. I cannot stay here. I have no idea what I am going to do. God. I need to get out of here but I have nowhere to go.