tearin' it down
Apr. 26th, 2000 03:26 pmyou know when you suddenly need some kind of change? like everything you've been doing so far is just not good enough, and you feel lost... like you felt long ago? like you'd hope you'd never feel again, yet it happens all over again, when least expected? i really hate that. "i'm tired of this. i need a goddamn change." i get angry at myself for tearing down the posters of my fave movies, suddenly re-designing my site, thinking, 'oh my god, this is NOT good enough! what the hell was i thinking?' know what i mean? i don't care if it's realizing you're no longer a teenybopper or a groupie, i mean just anything. it's just weird, that's all. you feel so lost when this feeling occurs, and you think it'll take forever to get back to where you just were. just yesterday. just a few hours before... how do you know when you're changing for the better... or the worst? what if you're not meant to turn your path's direction, and it's just a 'phase'? what if you're making the wrong choice at the wrong time for the wrong reasons? i worry myself when i do this... and it seems to be happening a lot lately. i doubt i'm the only one...